Funny 50th Birthday Poem

Funny 50th Birthday Poem

Happy 50th Birthday Poems
Perfect for those approaching the big 5-0!

Here is a great funny 50th birthday poem. A perfect rib tickler for someone's special day.

Well you wouldn't want to let the opportunity pass would you?!!

Funny 50th Birthday Poem

The Big 5-O

Your Fiftieth Birthday? That really is great.
And of course we want to help you celebrate.

But…. Now you've turned fifty we think you should know.
Your best before date was now quite some time ago.

But there's no need to get worried, no need to be scared.
We just want to make sure that you're properly prepared.

We don't want to be smug but we would make a bet.
There are things that will happen if they're not happening yet.

There are changes a coming to body and mind.
We don't mean to alarm you we want to be kind.

So you need to get ready as your old bones start to fail.
Its starts with your own body - the ultimate betrayal.

You'll find your stomach's no longer a nice trim six-pack.
You've got one dodgy knee and a real iffy back.

And you soon learn what you'll be doing without.
Like a full head of hair, as the last of it falls out.

And then you look in the mirror one fateful day.
And find even your nose hair is now turning grey!

And teeth that were once so ultrabrite white.
Will soon be in a glass by your bed every night.

And the eyesight gets worse as another year passes.
Till you're blind as a bat if you've not got your glasses!

And its not just the body to which such things are confined.
Your mental state also begins to unwind.

Poor memory, forgetfulness are just the most well known.
But your mind's doesn't just wander... it goes off on its own!

Your wardrobe too will clock up some changes.
As you find yourself decked out in the catalogue ranges.

And where tight jeans and a t shirt were once what you wore to relax.
You'll find now its a cardigan and a nice pair of slacks!

There seems just one thing that doesn't want to let go.
Your libido remains. Its just your body says no.

You think you don't have to worry cos with advances in science.
You've now got Viagra or a helpful appliance!

But you mis-read the instructions and fail to check.
Swallow your blue pill too slowly and just get a stiff neck!

Besides the hot girls you still think like to give you the eye.
Are actually thinking who's that dirty old guy?

And even at work where you were once cock of the walk.
You're surrounded by kids who text rather than talk.

And the manager's job to which you'd always aspired.
Is done by some geek with a laptop they recently hired.

But what can you do? Absolutely nothing at all.
Except on your birthday make sure you have a ball.

Were sure that you'll take the Big 5 - 0 in your stride.
Its plain you're not perfect but its clear that you tried.

Fifty's the big one. So heres a big birthday cheer.
Make the most of your party cos its downhill from here!

And as someone who now has been around for a while.
We hope that these warnings will give you a smile

And we're not making judgements Its just up to you
To decide for yourself how much of this is true!

If you write or come across any more funny 50th birthday poems please send them in to us.
We would love to include them on these pages.

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Happy 50th birthday poems
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