All the best Halloween jokes and one liners
Perfect for ghoulish Halloween fun!
Halloween is a time for horror and scary fun.
Here are a great selection of neat little jokes for Halloween and brilliant Halloween one liners.
Use them in your Halloween party invitations, Halloween cards and Halloween party decorations
These Halloween jokes are perfect.
Don't forget too if you know any good little Halloween funnies we would love to hear them and add them to these pages.
What does a witch ask for in a hotel?
What do witches put on their hair?
What is a witch's favourite part of a magazine?
Did you hear about the identical witch twins?
No on could tell which was witch
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She had to witch-hike home
What subject do witch's kids like doing at school?
What does a biker witch ride instead of a motorbike?
What do you get if you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A sour puss
What kind of makeup do lady monsters wear?
What does a monster call people on skateboards?
Meals on wheels
What do you get if you cross a monster with a snowman?
What does a hungry monster call a person in a hammock?
Breakfast in bed
Did you hear about the monster who met a werewolf?
They became beast-friends
Why do monsters paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees
Why are monsters big and purple?
Because if they were small and green you'd mistake them for gooseberries
What did the ghost say to his girlfriend?
You look boo-tiful tonight
Why don't ghosts make good liars?
Because you can see right through them
What do ghosts do before they enter a haunted house?
Wipe their sheet
What do ghosts install on their computers?
What do ghosts need to buy for their haunted houses?
What do you get if you cross a ghost and Bambi?
What did the big ghost say to the little ghost?
Don't spook until you're spooken to
Where do ghosts go on Saturday nights?
Anywhere they can boo-gie
What is a ghost's favourite game?
Hide and shriek
Is it possible to go into a haunted house without getting scared?
No you don't stand a ghost of a chance
What do ghosts pour over their dinners?
What do you call a really clever monster?
I hear Dr Frankenstein is going to marry the Invisible Woman
I don't know what he sees in her
Why did Frankenstien's monster get an upset tummy?
He bolted down his food
What is a vampires favourite celebration?
What is Dracula's favourite TV show
How does a vampire like his hot drinks?
How do you let a bat into your house?
Install a bat flap
What do you call a bat who makes somersaults in mid-air?
Why does Count Dracula consider himself a good artist?
Because he likes to draw blood
Did you hear about the vampire who became famous?
He used to get a lot of fang mail
How do vampires ask their friends out for dinner?
Do you want to go out for a bite?
What does a vampire never order in a restaurant?
Who did Dracula marry?
Who did Dracula's brother marry?
What is a vampires favourite fruit?
What do you get if you cross a vampire with Al Capone?
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They only come out at night
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
Why do demons and ghouls get on with each other?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend
How do Devil parents teach their kids?
With lots of demon-strations
What's the best way to keep devils and demons at bay?
Get plenty of exorcise
Why are mummies great at keeping secrets?
They are good at keeping things under wraps
What music do mummies prefer?
Why don't mummies go on holiday?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind
Why did the skeleton not want to do the parachute jump?
He didn't have the guts
What do French skeletons say when they sit down to dinner?
Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with
What do skeletons order in restaurants?
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle his funny bone
And finally 3 more Halloween jokes that we rather liked:
What do little birds say on Halloween?
Twick or tweet
Why are there fences around graveyards and cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in
What do you call a troll with a broken leg?
A hoblin goblin
Send us your Halloween Jokes
Do you know any good Halloween Jokes?
Tell them to us
We will include all the best on these pages
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