You Know You're Getting Old When...
You have a nap and people worry you're dead.
Your back goes out more than you do.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age... and aren't breaking any laws.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the car park.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after when you actually haven't been anywhere the night before.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
You start video taping daytime game shows.
You look for your glasses for half-an-hour, then find they've been on your head all the time.
You wake up, looking like your driver's licence picture.
Happy Hour is a nap.
You don't need to visit the dentist you can simply post your teeth to them.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't remember ever being on top of it.
The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
You've seen your childhood toys in a museum.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative.
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
You don't remember being absentminded.
You appear to have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.
You cut out lists of Over The Hill Jokes to have a chuckle with your friends!!!